| Long, apologies. |
[05 Mar 2007|11:00pm] |
These nightmares have gotten to the point of being ridiculous. I should know by now that my subconscious only replays such gruesome tidbits when it’s internally disturbed… in other words, when I’m about to be ill. I think that’s what secretly petrifies me about this situation—that my body is trying to communicate to me that something is really wrong. Almosteverysinglenightformonths. …Ah, well. Let’s not get fatalistic just yet. I’ll see the cardiologist, and become an anti-sugar Nazi. Hopefully that’ll help the tightening and the dizziness and the unhappy bouts of nausea-pain-nausea-pain.
Still, dreams have this tendency to be so vivid. When you’re in a dream, you’re gripped by it, it’s –happening-. That’s the part of them that I can’t leave behind. The pictures are so clear in my mind, even days after, and sometimes debilitating just after I wake up. The worst was the other day, though…
[Note: Somewhat… disturbing? Don’t read on if you’d not like to delve into dreams against all semblence of reason and compassion.] ( I apologize for this… )
Anyway, I suppose I’ll wrap up this randomness on… a light note?
After waking up the other day, I was so startled by my own dream, that I forgot what side of the bed I’d fallen asleep on; and more importantly, that there was… you know… a WALL to my immediate right. So, rather then sitting up, I swung myself to the right… and bam. Head --> Wall. Rather loudly, I might add.
I thought I might have broken my nose (er- yeah. I really blasted my face into the wall that hard), so… I decided to go back to sleep. Addy’s Logic: “IF I broke something, I don’t want to deal with it right now… more sleep.”
However, later:
Erica [my room mate]: “Hey… are you okay?”
Addy: “Hm? Sure, why wouldn’t I be?”
Erica: “Well, this morning, you hit your… face.”
Addy: “Oh! Haha, you saw that?”
Erica: “I thought you did it on purpose! And the smash was SO loud, that when you fell back onto your pillow… I thought you’d seriously knocked yourself out!”
Addy: “Oh, my. No. Just went back to sleep. Sorry to worry you.”
Erica: “I was going to say… ‘Wow. She must have REALLY not wanted to go to microbio today.’”
So now we both have silly ‘room mate half-asleep stories’ to tell to guests. (Hers consisted of her tossing her arms out to me and yelling ‘Mommy!’ until I came over. When I finally did come over, saying ‘Um, I’m sorry, I’m not you’re mother’, her eyes snapped open, and she replied with; ‘Maddie… do I need a password for my laptop?’ And when I replied with ‘Er- no, it isn’t necessary’, she passed right out again. XD;)
And… some good stuff now! A little positivism never hurt anyone. <3
The Good Stuff:
Dorm Life: I somehow, through the mystic powers of the Gods of Technology in all their infinite confusion, managed to fix my room mate’s 1-dollar-laptop. (Yes, she purchased a computer for the low-low price of 100 pennies. You’d almost be jealous if, by the time I finally got the screen working, the computer didn’t say Today’s Date: Jan. 1, 1981.) Because now we’re both up to the wee hours on our respective computers, we spend the entire night talking and joking. She’s such a sweet, and respectful girl, though very shy. I’m exceptionally lucky to have landed her as a room mate.
Next Year: I’ve signed up for one of the 4-apartment single-room suits with Liz and Mina next semester, up in North. Incredibly psyched about this, guys. <3 No one I’d rather share a kitchen and a bathroom with than crazy wonderful rampant cosplayers.
This weekend: Comedy club with Amanda, to see the armatures strut their stuff. Hockey playoffs (Umass made it!) with Zoe and Elmira.
Recent: ‘Mocktail’ night (Brooks is a non-alcoholic dorm… as such, rather than having cocktail parties, we bust out the cranberry juice and the olives, and let our natural drunken states lead the way) led to the finest idea we’ve had in a while --> Cookie-Off. I think this erupted from a conversation about the boy in Matilda who ate an entire cake… but suddenly, an argument broke out about just –who- could eat the most cookies without being ill. So, we plan to have a day of baking, and then let the challengers go at it… while filming a Mockumentary! (I wince at imagining how unhealthy this will be.)
Game Night: A success. <3 The 4th floor sponsored a Game Night for brooks; 40 some-odd mad people stuffed into two dorm rooms, playing old-school board games until the crack of dawn. Exceptional fun.
Dancing: I am. Learning to. Break dance. …As someone whose just learned hip-hop, and is more well-versed in ballroom? It’s awful! I’m miserable at it! …It’s great so far! (However, I think it’s referred to as ‘break dancing’ because goodness knows how many random objects around the room I’ll break while dashing modesty and trying to learn this.)
Still the dorm prude...: "Erica, do you like that show, the history of sex?" "Oh yeah, I love it!" "It's on right no- ...nooooww. Heh, Maddie's blushing." "Let's make her watch it!" "Yep, turning it on now!"
And, scarily?
TV: "The Chinese believed that..."
Maddie: "...women and men were composed of yin and yang essence, and that for men to stay healthy, they had to absorb as much of the female essence as they could while preserving their own, blahblahblah Buddhism."
Erica: "How do you know all that?! You know nothing about sex!"
Maddie: "History student, thank you."
(I... have decided to do the commission of the charcoal nude portrait. *Head Desk.* let's see if I can survive that.)
Grades: First Essay back, for my Asian homosexual film/literature class, on the notion of being ‘classified’ and the power of terminology – A+. First quiz back in PolySci – 95%. Cannot describe how pleased I am. Working obscenely hard.
Art: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/49842687/ (Elricest. …Beyond warmed in so many ways that insanetourist06 promoted this, and that she feels so strongly attached to it. That’s sort of the point, hm?)
Now…
Dave! Congratulations on your new job. Again, I am so proud of you dear.
I am utterly excited for July to come around now, as Ari is planning to do the most gorgeous dress in all existence for AN. …How do I get so lucky as to befriend all of the talented and gorgeous cosplayers? ._. (Of course, I include you in this Dave. Aren’t you just the PRETTIEST? XD; *Cheek Pinch.*)
Okay, I have some broccoli with my name on it calling for me now… I went at great peril to ‘steal’ it from the Cafeteria. (Is it stealing when I have an unlimited food pass, and I put some salad items into a to go cup? O_o …Whatever it is, I have never been chased by so angry a woman wearing a ‘Happy Happy Fruit’ shirt.)
Lastly: Recently, I’ve been worried that perhaps my ideals (on love/friendship) are too high. That maybe it’s a very naïve opinion that loyalty is forever, and that if you truly care about someone, you always will, or rather… should. Someone told me recently, the only person I could share these concerns with: “Stop taking everything to heart. Stop trusting everything people say to you. You invest too much heart into things, and then don’t understand it why people turn their backs on you.” I realize that not every friendship is a ‘true’ friendship, and I don’t invest in people simply because I ‘want something back.’ Still, those words were a bit disheartening. Today, though, I found a quote that embodies what I think, and really revitalized my ability to see no problem in ‘investing too much’.
“Love changes but it does not go away. If it does, then it was not love to begin with.”
… *Munches.*
|
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
genkitozuku's journal
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
accomplished
